My triumph over a difficult emotional struggle – Ananya Mahadevan.

My confidence levels were at an all time low and my emotions were scattered, since I didn’t understand how I felt most of the time.

I felt empty and alone most days of the struggle. There were days I’d sit and start crying for no reason at all and days I had lost my appetite to eat and I wasn’t eating properly.

While going through the emotional struggle, I fell really sick and was down with a severe viral infection, which took a month to recover from.

There were other days where I would shut myself away from people, and would sit and be within my thoughts.

For the longest time I could never understand why I was feeling this way, I couldn’t talk about it, because I couldn’t explain anything I felt even if I wanted to. since talking about it wasn’t easy, I started expressing how I felt through what I wrote.

This to an extent felt good, for I could express some parts of what I was going through. Though this liberated me, it did end up worrying some of my friends who really began wondering what was wrong.

The journey of confiding and opening up.

When I chose to open up about my feelings, I knew I had made the right choice having never really done it before. For me it really was really soul freeing and I really felt comfortable , since the friend I opened up to made feel at ease.

she really stood by me and was there for me unconditionally throughout my struggle. She became my shoulder to cry on, and also was my emotional punching bag.

She said, my dear” I am really happy that you are being so honest about how you are actually feeling. I am proud of you for opening up to me, remember I am always here for you, even I can’t hear you out all the time, I will whenever I can. “

she also said, ” You are not alone, you have me and all your other friends always by your side. Forget about the toxic friendship that broke your heart.” She actually made me realize that I shouldn’t be feeling sorry about something that I wasn’t responsible for.

The journey to a successful liberation.

That was when I began gain a partial understanding of why I felt the way I did.

I knew the only way to liberate was to forgive and forget the past and forgive and forget the person who hurt me. I was eventually met with the realizations , ‘ I owe my happiness to nobody except me.’ I don’t need to be apologetic for something I’m not responsible for.

These realizations, brought with them a wave of relief and unconditional happiness , for I began to realize I had the power within me to be happy and stay happy.

” If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle with others, then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself.” – Nikita Gill.